In the May issue of Parent's magazine there is an article titled, Time-outs for Toddlers. It is a great article, especially if you have a toddler and are looking for some reminders about how to deal with their tantrums, disobedience, and behaviors. Here is the sample of a question I wrestle with EVERYDAY! (I don't necessarily do time-outs, but I try to be consistent with whatever I am doing as a form of correction) Q. My child repeats the same bad behavior despite time-outs (or other form of consequence). Are they working?
A. Yes, but it can take about 20 times to sink in. Kids will continually test the limits to see whether they can wear you down. Just keep plowing ahead in a calm and consistent way.
This is such good news to me! Maybe I am the only one, but I think I put a lot of expectations on my kids, and I forget how old they really are (3.5, 2.5, 7 months). I need to realize that the behaviors they have are because they are still learning and because they are CHILDREN!!! They are not always behaviors to spite me, although it feels that way sometimes. I bolded calm and consistent because I tend to lose my calm quickly. I have been working on being more calm, and especially explaining and teaching them why the behavior is bad. I, as an adult, don't like when I don't know why something is or isn't, so I am trying to teach them, in their stage of testing and learning, why a behavior is sometimes inappropriate, or why hitting, screaming, throwing, biting, or anything else is not ok, so that eventually they will comprehend and no longer do it.
I would have loved to post the whole article, it is a good reminder to the developmental place that kids are. I too often expect them to be at my level of understanding and rational things like I do. I don't want my laziness to teach them to take the childlikeness out of them, so I need to learn more about them and embrace the stage they are in. Hopefully, we will all be happier!
Time-outs seem to work with Wyatt. We put him on the bottom stoop of our staircase. It took a couple times for him to get used to it. Now we just have to mention the "Naughty stair" (as we call it=) and he shapes up.
ReplyDeleteAw, the "naughty step." This is something that I learned from my mom who learned it by watching Super Nanny on ABC. We have a "naughty spot" in our house. Our son dislikes it very much because it separates him from the rest of the family or friends if they are over. He is very social, so he does not like this at all!
ReplyDeleteI believe that your stress level will decrease as you continue to keep in mind what is age-appopriate behavior. This was a difficult lesson for me to learn, but I am so glad that I did.
My family is so much happier, and we have so much more fun together!!!
This life is a journey, and we are always in the process of learning and growing. It is good for our children to see that mommy and daddy are still learning too. It helps to develop life-long learners (which I want my son to be). :-)
I will keep you and your family in my prayers!