As all my children are in the "sassy" stage of life, I get frustrated, irritated, and impatient with their lack of respect. I try so hard to instill manners, being polite, asking forgiveness,and to use kind encouraging words. As of late, I have been feeling like a complete failure in these areas of my parenting which causes great distress since they are my 2 main areas that I want to focus on.
Not really knowing what else to do, I ordered a book I heard about called, Raising respectful Children in a Disrespectful World. So far, the first 2 chapters have been interesting and enlightening to the philosophy that I was raised with as a child, but I am waiting for the ABCs of raising respectful kids. We all know those people who have children who are the model children of showing respect. I don't know what step I am missing. These children that I speak of, never throw tantrums, respond to others without arguing or complaining, and they can be in a public settings for an extended amount of time before their patience timer goes off and they morph into monsters (oops, now I am speaking of my children). Why are some children so calm, collected, and peaceful? I swear all my children came out screaming at the top of their lungs, and jumping off furniture and have never stopped. I don't scream (usually) and I was more stationary than most people- what gives? People must think I feed my children crazy pills for breakfast because they are so active, energetic, and BUSY!
Here are the things the author (Jill Rigby) says you must be willing to do to raise a respectful child:
- Be the person you want your children to become
- Abandon old notions of building self-esteem, and enroll your family in the School of Respect
- Help your children find their purpose and use perserverance to fulfill that purpose
- Use encouragement to motivate your children
- Set boundaries without building walls between you and your children
- Use discipline to instill righteousness in your children
- Do all you can to protect and shield your children from the garbage of our culture
- Engage your children in meaningful activities, not useless entertainment
- find contentment so your children can be filled with gratefulness
- Listen with your heart to your children's needs
I don't have the answer either, but know that if I didn't have God to work through all of this stuff in our family, I would be a crazier screwed up person for it!! I keep plodding along, directing and correcting and leaning on God to help those seeds blossom! Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteThis can be so frustrating... especially at the "sassy" stage. My mouth always drops open in disbelief when teachers (and really any adult other than Dustin and I) give the report of "You have the most well behaved kids!" It is quite a different story when we have them out... and at home. It's not like they never behave, it just feels like I'm constantly reminding them to mind their manners and be respectful. I am pleased that when they are away from us they "practice what I preach" but I wish it were the same when they are with us!!
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