Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Little drama mama

I could use some help with a little female that is in our home. She has been giving our new nanny a run for her money. Not only that, but her attitude, sassiness, and drama has increased 5 notches with Angie and with me. I am feeling at a loss on what to do or how to deal with her. I am sure her life feels as if it has been turned upside down overnight. I understand that she will test and push a new authority to see what her boundaries are, but I only disobedience and defiance to a certain point. Isabelle has made some really ugly and unkind comments to people lately, and has decided that she no longer needs to obey, and like a 2 year old the word No flows out as if it was the only word she knows how to say. I've heard things like:

"I hate you"
"I'm going to call the police on you"
"I don't like you"
"You are not my friend"
"I'm not going to play with you"
"I'm not going to listen to you"

I cringe at knowing she is saying such things. But what's worse is the tone and attitude she says it with. Its the rolling of the eyes and the shaking of the head and neck that really heats me up.

With behavior like this, the guilt of going back to work immediately attacks me and I begin to think I made a terrible mistake and although I am working to make their life better, all I am truly doing is making it worse. To lay it all out-I've been with her everyday of her life. Now, I am gone everyday and gone sometimes before she wakes up. Also, her big brother is gone 3 days a week in the morning at preschool and finally there is someone new establishing rules routines in her life. So is it all just because of the transitioning? Is it just a phase of being 3? Or is it an issue of the heart, that needs to be disciplined and corrected now, so it doesn't grow into something larger as she grows up?

I've tried talking to her about what she is feeling about all of this change, but she says she likes Angie (nanny) and she likes that mommy has a job. When Isabelle is one on one with people she is a sweet, loving, fun to be with little girl. I hear from all of the neighbors that she is a delight to have over. She cleans up her messes, listens to the moms, eats all her food and plays nicely and gently with the other children. I don't get it!

I am at a loss on what to do. I am trying to make life easy for our nanny and I am trying to understand that this is a lot going on for a little 3 year old. As someone who works hard with my children about respect and manners, I feel like a complete failure to have a child acting and speaking so disrespectfully.


  1. That sounds tough. I'd give it a little time. This might just be a little phase she is working through, especially if she is fine around other people. She is probably a little mad and a little confused by all the change, but that doesn't mean the change is bad. And don't feel like a failure because she is acting up right now. I bet you'll look back on this a month from now and laugh.

  2. That sounds hard, but as a fellow working mother, who constantly feels guilty about being at work, try not to blame being at work for this. Kids have to be adaptable, that's part of life! Josie has a tendency to act up like that when I first get home and I'm changing clothes or talking to Russ. But usually a little one-on-one time is all she needs to be normal again. Could you do the sticker trick or something like that if you get a good report from Angie? Something that will offer you a chance to praise good behavior as soon as you get home? I don't know if that's helpful, but at least you can know that you're not the only Mom that has to deal with this kind of thing!


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