I returned home earlier today from a Women's retreat with out church. It was nice to short get--a- way to laugh, and play games til midnight and spend some quality time focused on God. However, it was not nice sleeping in cabin bunk bed with only a thin blanket in a freezing cold room.
Friday night, all the women gathered at the fire pit to have s'mores, sing praises and chat more (women are great at chatting). One lady suggest we sing Sactuary. I had immediate flashbacks of Jacob and Isabelle in their first days of their lives at home. I would sing this song over and over and over until they would fall asleep. I'm not sure if I sang it for them or for myself, as I was trying to get a grip on my life with 2 babies.
As we stood around the fire, there was flooding of images of their little bodies curled up on mine, my deliriously tired body and mind rocking in the glider and praying for some sort of wisdom on how to be a mom. Over and over, Sanctuary came to my mind and I sang it as a prayer. If you've never heard it, I posted the video below. I think as long as I live, and every time I hear this song, I will remember those early days of desperation for God's s actuary in my life and I will remember the peace I had even in my most exhausted moments.