Lately, my biggest frustration is the way the children speak to one another and the way they speak to us (Brenton and I). It's the constant- "I am better than you" argument all day long. So, we are instilling a new system in our house. Thanks to the Super Nanny (of course) we are using beads as rewards/consequences. I plan to add or remove the emphasis as we see needed. Right now, we are working on WORD CHOICES! I want to remove back talk, whining, arguing, and of course bathroom talk. Ans I would love to increase speaking lovingly to family members and using manners (without being told).
Here is what we told the children. When we see the type of talk/ behavior that we are looking for- we will tell them they can add a bead to their jar. When we see the opposite of what we are looking for, we will talk about it and they will need to remove a bead. They are working together to reach that top ribbon and when they get their we will all go out and do something fun as a family. Then we will start over until their new way of talking becomes natural/ normal. Another aspect that I like about it is it will keep us accountable as well. If Brenton or I speak in an unkind way, they earn a bead too, so we need to be constant examples. We just started it tonight, and they were over-the-top nice to one another and extremely eager to help around the house, so we will see how the next few days pan out. I am sure the fun of it will wear off, but I am milking it for all I can.
I am very optimistic about this new strategy. I am tired of being frustrated with the system I have now (which is none), so this is plan B. I don't guarantee it will work, but I will try my best until I need plan C...D...or E. Like I said, parenting is hard and constantly changing. If you have other suggestions, I would love to hear them!
(The jar on the left is where they get their beads from- its the mom & dad jar, their jar is on the right and they are trying to get it to the red ribbon).