Monday, July 14, 2008

You're not invited to my birthday party

Where in the world do children learn to say things to one another just to make them feel bad? This summer is the first summer that the kids have been invited to birthday parties where the parents don't stick around to supervise. Jacob was invited last weekend, and Izzy received one today from the neighbor girl. With those and Andrew and Jacob's birthdays quickly approaching, I have heard little else except who is and who is not invited to birthday parties and the type of birthday they are having.

And the most common thing I have heard from our children is- "You're not invited to my birthday" I have to laugh at first because little do they know or realize is that family is always invited. After those comments fly back and forth they progress in much more mature arguing of
Nutah...Uhah...Nutah...uhah... until I jump in or one of them starts crying.

It's a constant battle of control and manipulation. I recently heard our neighbor boy say to Jake, 'I will be your best friend if you let me..." REALLY, wow what a great promise to an almost 5 year old playing with older kids. I waited to see what Jacob would do, then pulled him aside and tried to explain to him that someone should be his friend because of.... blah blah blah I am sure he doesn't remember anything I said. I wonder sometimes if I am just wasting my breath and I should just let them figure it out themselves even if it is painful. I am trying to teach the kids to take the high road and not give into that peer pressure that I so easily gave into. I forget some the most valuable lessons I've learned are the ones that stung a bit. Maybe I need to let him learn from his pain. Is he too little for that? Am I too over bearing or over protecting from sheltering him. Jacob especially is our child that recognizes people's pain and wants things to be fair. I never want to crush that gentle sensitive spirit that he has, just for the sake of learning a lesson.

This blog entry is different than I intended, but I journal of my thoughts still. I think I need to take my meds! :)


  1. I struggle with knowing when to step in too. It seems there is a fine line between being a 'helicopter parent' and one that sits back while their child runs wild. I don't want to be on either extreme but its hard to know how much to let your kids figure out on their own and how much good all our talking is doing anyway!

    Guess I don't have any good answers for you but will say I know you are a wonderful mother and do a great job!!!!!

  2. The thing about kids is that they're honest just like drunks :)


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