Friday, November 14, 2008

I am still exhausted

Within the past couple of weeks I have gotten really busy at school. Don't get me wrong, there has always been plenty to do, but it seems there is an overload of things going on right now at school and more at home. As I've said before being a stay-at-home was the hardest thing I have done so far, I still stand by that statement, but I want to elaborate a little more on it.

Being a stay-at-home mom is exhausting on many levels, but the thing that was the hardest for me was the emotional energy it took me everyday to deal with the irrational outbursts, demands, tantrums and needs of the children day in and day out- 18 hours a day. My mind was so fried from coming up with different ways to help them cope with life, each other and themselves. I was emotionally pulled in so many different directions that there were many days I wanted to emotionally break down myself, in a corner rocking back and forth until the crying ans screaming stopped.

Being a working mom, I still deal with those things when I get home, but it's for a much shorter time and I have more patience from missing them all day that I am willing to go the extra mile to deal with their insanity in a more calm controlled manner. Now, being a 5th grade teacher I am less emotional exhausted, but wow, now I am physically and mentally exhausted! Now, I am constantly coming up with lesson plans, dealing with students academic issues and some life issues, but my emotions are not involved as much so it doesn't personally exhaust me. Being a teacher is hard work, and there is never a break in my mind about what I can do better as a teacher to help my low functioning kids succeed. I am constantly thinking about State test scores and how that reflects on me as their teacher. I have crashed in my bed earlier in the last week than I have in 4 years (the last time I was a teacher). I am sure any working (outside of the home) mom could agree with the mental exhaustion that comes from the workplace.

So, with all that said, I think both situations are very hard, but I am seeing them be difficult in 2 very different ways. So kudos to all my stay at home working moms and all of my outside of the home working moms- I feel both of your pains!

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