However, in the past 2 weeks I felt as if I did receive a paycheck for all the hard work in years past. I bragged in an earlier post about Isabelle's preschool conference. Last night, I had Jacob's spring conference- and I walked out of that conference feeling so proud of the person Jacob is when we are not around. I told Brenton it felt like I had just received a nice paycheck or bonus check. There really was no money involved, but I was able to see the fruits of my labor shine through. I was so pleased to hear that Jacob is respectful and listens to the teacher. I smiled when his teacher said he was a friend to everyone and has a positive attitude everyday in class. I love that he is doing so well in math and reading because I think of the countless practice sheets and books we did starting when he was 3.
I never knew I could be so proud of my children. And as much as I want to take full credit for their success- I really need to pass the credit to their creator. I have been praying over them since they were in my womb and several times since then. I have been on my knees more than I would like to say about feeling like a failure as a mom. I DON'T have it all together, and most days I don't know which direction I am going, but I do know we (God, Brenton and I) are working together to do the best we can with the cards we've been dealt.
And as I think about how proud I am of Jacob and Isabelle, it gives me hope that someday, the little 3 year old in my house that keeps me very humble as a parent, will also one day (Lord willing) have a great conference that I can be proud of- Right now, that seems a long time off. :)
** This is ONLY my reflection of our children and my feelings- I am NOT saying that you need to be a SAH mom (in case you feel attacked)**