Jacob has been invited to sleepover a couple times this year at different people's houses. We said no thanks those times. We haven't thought about or talked about sleepovers much yet, he seems too young for those. I am usually eager for Jacob to try new things and grow up, but this is an area I am not trying to pursue yet. In fact, if I was honest with myself, I would be happy if he never had sleepovers at friends houses. Before you all gasp and call me an overbearing mom, hear me out. I had lots of sleepovers as a kid at lots of different people's homes. Most of the time they were fun, but some of the time I felt uncomfortable for different reasons. I usually stayed up way to late, only to spend the next 2 days trying to recover. At sleepovers, I usually watched things I wouldn't normally watch, did things I normally wouldn't do, and learned things about people or life that I maybe wasn't prepared for. And I have seen too many of my friends dads' in their underwear- gross! What good comes from sleepovers? What good happens after midnight (for anyone)?
I am all for Jacob (or any of the kids) playing with friends at friend's houses'. I have highly social children (go figure). But I am still trying to figure out how I want to go about with sleepovers. I am willing to be that parent that picks their child up before everyone goes to bed. Am I setting him up to be bullied (another big concern I have)?
In all fairness to us, we don't believe Jacob is ready for a sleepover anyway. He still climbs into bed with us every night. He is the most fearful at night out of the 3 children and he likes being around home. He has had sleep overs at family members homes, but not friends, and even then he needs to sleep with someone else there.
So- I am opening up a door and looking for advice on when and how you have dealt with friend sleepovers? I am open to suggestions, opinions, even criticism- but be kind.
First of all - I can't believe Jake is 6.5!! Wow!! I remember the day you brought him home!! Crazy fast how time goes!!
ReplyDeleteSecondly - I'm totally with ya'! We too have said no, no, no! Nicolai had his FIRST sleepover just a couple of weekends ago - He's TEN!! AND the sleepover happened at our house!
If I don't know the parents well or well enough to trust them, then the answer will always be no and sleepovers can happen at our home but only because I'm the parent who will ask to talk with the other parent and make sure they know us and have all of our contact information. And will make sure the kids are in bed and sleeping by at least ten - there's no reason to be up later! It's amazing how many parents don't talk to the other and they just drop their kid without any question or getting to know the other! I'm still baffled by that!! I didn't have the child call home, but he finally asked to - and so then he did. That is something in the future I will make sure happens that the kids staying over - call home! That's at least my plan for the next three years or so - who knows what will happen when he becomes a teen!! yikes!!
I'm in total agreement with you. I can only think of trouble I got into at sleepovers. But maybe you could host one someday, so he still gets the experience but you are still in the loop.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking a lot about this since I posted. I am thinking I might want to let him have some sleepovers (at our house, relatives, and close by neighbors) while he is young. They seem fairly innocent. I feel once they hit 10, they are nothing but trouble. I appreciate all the comments, keep them coming- I will continue to think this one out.
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